Monday, June 21, 2010

Good Morning!

Up early today to take my littles to the dentist. I am working on psyching myself up for dealing with the possible "talking-to" I may get for how one of my kid's teeth look. This particular child shows up as allergic to fluoride on his ALCAT tests, so we tried going w/out fluoride; he doesn't like the taste of any of the natural toothpastes, so he does use fluoride. He flosses, he brushes, just not as often as he could to avoid plaque build up, which is what I'm afraid of hearing about, never mind having to comfort this child through the scraping of the plaque. ACK! He has had a cavity filled before, he knows how uncomfortable it is, but still forgets, over time, and ends up resisting tooth brushing. I am letting it go. :)

Philip returned from a 3 day/3 night visit with family friends in Newberry last night. He went to Carowinds with them on Sunday, yet the most excitement came from him while he was telling me all about walking downtown with Jake & Toby, unsupervised, to go to the Pizza Parlor. They ordered their own food, ate & then went next door for rootbeer floats. I think he definitely needs more of that freedom, but I'm not sure how to offer it to him while we live in a place that is not quite as small as downtown Newberry & with nothing like the place he went within 4 miles of our home. It will work itself out. :)

We've been having lots of visits to Charleston this summer, even though it is only officially Summer today. We're all very much enjoying having visitors and taking them out to the local beaches & other sites! We recently bought a pass to the SC Aquarium, so we are set up for fully entertaining, even on rainy or too-hot days. Life is good.

The littles decided they'd like to spend their saved money on some new Wii games yesterday. They were up till midnight playing Mario Galaxy, Madden 10 & Lego Indiana Jones. Then they asked if they could set an alarm for 3am. WHAT? LOL. We ended up not using an alarm at all & they were still up by 8. They definitely know how to live in their joy!

Ed has been working like crazy, but also making sure to fish, kayak and beach it whenever he can. The Charleston move was a very good one for him, & the rest of us too.

I've been watching tons of movies since we got Netflix. I LOVE it! I am feeling pretty well recovered from surgery, so it's easier to keep up with the house and with the kids on summer break, I am totally letting them burn their energy however they want to, which is mostly on Wii games. Which equals me getting lots of time to read and movie-watch. I have wasted a couple hours on a Fern Michaels book; I am having a hard time finishing it because the writing is so, I hate this word, but, Lame. It is terribly written! The plot is interesting, but it is obvious this chic is writing far from home, with the exception of the character of Winston, the dog. She obviously knows her dogs, but that's it. I just want to know what happens, so I'm trudging through anyway.

Well, I'm off to write my list of things I need to purchase today...I've been wanting an avocado for several days & keep forgetting to get one, haha. So, dentist, avocado shopping, & then whatever we want to do!

Thanks for reading, feel free to comment, I thrive on comments!! Hehe.

Love, Me

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Current Events

Ok. So. I try, as naive as it may be, to stay away from reading or watching the news. I know most of you will agree with me when I say it is always bad news and very hard to see or hear. So, after years of staying in tune with the world, (yes, I know, after even more years of living the blissful life of total ignorance, LOL) I have been trying to avoid being aware of what's happening. I am just too sensitive to have all the sadness of the world broadcast to me daily or, even hourly.

Alas, having children in school & a husband who is very passionate about the environment, I have had to lift the wool, just a tiny bit, in order to peek at the circumstances surrounding the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Oh. My. Gosh. Again, I know most of you will agree with me that this is an absolutely horrendous disaster. We can see pictures all over the Internet, & on television screens, of the oil sodden pelicans & other wildlife; we can see live & 24 hours a day the gushing oil; we can see from satellite pictures or just regular video coverage the vast area of our ocean that the oil is gushing into. We can also hear & see and read about who needs to take responsibility and who needs to be blamed; we hear that B.P. must cover the expenses, we hear that our current administration isn't DOING enough & certainly not fast enough. See, this oil spill clearly exhibits, right here and right now, how it is damaging our ocean, ocean life, marsh life, fishing & shrimping companies, & of course us. Oil is, after all, toxic to humans. Anyone directly helping in the cleanup efforts will be exposed to this toxin in one way or another, despite all the protective gear and training they will have had. Duh. Accidents happen. Ah-hem.

I am wondering, why do we all have our panties in a wad about this oil spill? I've been watching the news coverage via CSPAN & CNN and listening to it on NPR. Today, on CSPAN, I watched this:

I can't direct you to exactly when in the interview, John Hofmeister, the ex-President of Shell Oil, said the things I'm going to refer to, but I just wanted to make sure you had the link to hear the interview for yourselves. When my husband came home from work, I was trying to explain to him how I agree with John Hofmeister, re: his comments on how the oil gush in the gulf is not much worse than the ways humans have already polluted the earth, & certainly not as debilitating as wars & natural disasters of our past & present. Not to say that this oil spill is not absolutely horrendous, but really, it & all the pictures of oiled animals are just a much more obvious example of how we are killing animals, nature & ourselves each day. My husband wanted to argue this point with me, but I wouldn't hear it. Later, he happened upon this article, on purpose or intentionally I don't know yet, & posted it on my Facebook wall. It's a long read, but eye-opening.

Water Pollution : Men's Health

We have GOT to stop using plastics!!!!!! It's not just a "granola" or "hippie" lifestyle, it needs to happen or we won't be around much longer!

And just in case you didn't know, plastics are petroleum, i.e., OIL based. We, the people, have created our own dependence on oil and now, when the oil companies are trying to give us what we want, and locally at that, now that President Obama is trying to help us get out of a bad situation, depending on foreign oil, now we all have our panties in a wad & are blaming all the powers that be. People, it's our fault. It's YOUR fault. It's MY fault. It's our Grandparent's fault. It's the fault of wanting more, wanting progress, wanting convenience, wanting it all right now, right here, exactly how we want it! We live in the United States of Burger King! We are an insatiable people, in general, and somewhere along the line we were told that not only could we have it all, but that we simply deserved it all. And so it is. And here we are. So, if we deserved it all, then we certainly shouldn't be blaming the ones that gave us what we asked for! What we could be doing is climbing on board with Al Gore, President Obama, etc., etc., and doing our gosh golly darnedest to learn how to live greener, & to practice it daily, hourly, so that we, over time, can truly have it all, having earned it clean & green, deserving it because we WORKED for it! Last but by no means least, I hope we live to see that day & I hope we have healthy children & grandchildren.

My baby step: Limiting the use of plastic in our home and lives. What's your first step?

Friday, April 16, 2010


I am so happy these days! I am barely able to contain the joy I have found within myself!! I know I sound like a total cornflake, but lately things have just been incredible. For a while there I was sad, lots of changes are happening. Friendships are metamorphosing, familial relationships and geographical locations of my family of origin are in a state of limbo, my dreams are so crazy I don't even like to try to remember them long enough to tell my Jungian therapist about them, and worst/best of all, is that my children are growing more independent each day.

*Forgive me for a moment while I talk/process through my writing*....I don't normally do so well with changes, which I think is odd since I was first an Army Brat, and then a teenager migrating from Mom to Dad, back to Mom and then to several other places before going to college, and a couple more before settling down and marrying Edward. Hmmm. Maybe that is exactly why I don't like change. I usually find myself resisting change, holding on to things & people even after the thing or person is not so beneficial to my well being. I believe one of the many seen and yet unseen benefits of living through the loss of Serenity, is that I have developed better coping tools to deal with change. There is no way to beg a dead person to come back to you. At least not any way that you could possibly expect it to happen, LOL! There is no way, really, to take death as a personal offense against you. Maybe that could be part of someones grieving process, but really, no. I guess never having lived through such a permanent type of loss before, specifically one that had nothing to do with being abandoned or dumped, rejected or unrequited, has always been a handicap for me in the world of intimate relationships. Because of all that, and because I feel much more attuned to my intuitions, or as my therapist calls it "the deepest part of my soul," I think I am better able to accept changes.

So, for a while here I have been riding a small wave of sadness, on top of the deeper wave of grief, and a whole lot of confusion and frustration at all the changes occurring in my life, relationship-wise. My littles chose, of their own accord, to go to school; Serenity finished her time here; Tammy moved; Philip is really coming into his own, separating more each day from the tether that began as our umbilical cord, my first attachment to anything outside myself since my own gestation. (where do my funny thoughts come from to turn into these words, LOL??) Several friendships are going through their own evolutions; and of course, the decision that was the start of all the changes: moving to Charleston. So I fully accept the emotional roller coaster I have been riding, and forgive myself for any mood swings.
And now Spring has arrived and I have discovered a new joy: Kayaking! I don't ever remember a feeling like pushing water out of the way and moving so swiftly along over it. I am sure it must be close to flying. I LOVE the sun on my body, the water in reach of my feet, the layered colors of the trees blending into one another as we coast or drift by. I love my husband, and I enjoy working as a team to navigate through the calm or choppy waters. Sometimes it seems impossible to move against the current, though we must in order to reach the goal; Sometimes we just drift along, enjoying the view, the breeze, the relaxed feeling of just floating along; we don't have a map, and if we did it would always change according to the whims of the moon and the wind; We peek around corners and try out different routes through the estuaries and mazes of the winding, flowing river. We never know where we may end up, until we get there. I used to absolutely despise that feeling of uncertainty, of being in limbo. I don't mind so much anymore; the rivers and the ocean feel more like home to me than any place I've ever been. And the journey is always worth the unexpected things we come across along the way. I always come away having seen something magical, or shared a quiet, sacred moment just between the Universe and me. Just like life. I love my life. I love my family. I am so thankful. Thanks to all that has ever happened to me, here I am today, exactly me. I love me.