Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Thought For The Day

I just had a moment of pure feeling. For a couple of weeks now, I have found myself in situations which I react to as the lonely kid not picked to be on the kick ball team. Today was another one of those situations. Since the switch from antidepressants to natural supplements, I have been having lots of feelings come up, triggered by this and that. Purely normal since I am no longer numbed by whatever chemicals are in the drugs. It can affect my whole day if I don't deal with it and process it immediately. Which I do believe is how we felt as children, and how our children feel. And we're all supposed to learn how to process as children, but are quickly stifled due to the discomfort that expression of those feelings creates in others. One more reason to be glad I'm working on total Trust and Respect for my children. I printed out a "new unschooler's checklist" last night. It suggests considering if we would talk to another adult in the same way we speak to our children. Think about that one. Of all the things you say to your children over the course of a day, how much of that would be socially acceptable or appropriate to say, in just the way you say it to your child, to an adult? I think many of us would lose friendships, jobs, etc. if we even tested the theory for a day. I think we should all be wary of that and learn to speak to our children with the same kindness and respect we expect to be spoken to with. It's hard, but well worth it, I believe. Especially if you agree that children model the behavior they see....if you're not modeling kindness and respect to them, why do you expect it back from them?

2 comments:

Bramble said...

would love to see your checklist. the talk to them like another adult thing doesnt always work here but it's a good stepping stone.

gigimama said...

Yep, that right there, is the whole deal. I usually try to make it really personal and ask myself if I would like it if my husband talked to me *in that tone* and *with those words*. I hate that it's so HARD sometimes to treat my children with respect. It sure shouldn't be, but the pull of our own upbringing and the disrespect that abounds in our culture is a challenge to swim against.