Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Feeling Nostalgic Lately

We've been busy here. Ed has been on vacation from work since Sunday. We've been hanging out, cleaning the house (mostly he has while I've kept up my normal array of activities) and making plans for the rest of his 9 days off. I can't seem to get a break from being busy! I keep intending to stay home from our regular playgroup days, or do something different, just to branch out a little and also to give myself some down time from all the running around I do. It seems each time I try to do this, more events are planned than ever! We had a birthday party to go to, a going away party for some friends, then of course the kids don't want to stay home, so we go go go! Phew! And on top of all that, for some reason, I must not really love myself all that much, because I keep staying up too darn late and then not wanting to get up in the morning! I am so exhausted! But, that alone time is good for me. I have been reading old posts from my April 1999 Mom's list that I joined when Philip was 3 months old. Oh it is soooo incredibly neat to see all the stuff I wrote about! I now have a record of the first time Philip whispered, the first time he kissed me, (mr. brown can moo is a great book for babies, hehe!) and so many other things! What is really interesting is that I have it in my head that so many Mom's have it more together than I do or that they are smarter than me or doing better than I am for their kids. Well, I don't know where those silly ideas came from! I joined La Leche League when Philip was 5 months old, I joined an Attachment Parenting group when he was 3 months old, I have always stood up for extended nursing, co-sleeping, etc., etc., and believe it or not, following my instincts! I have re-read from the time I joined that list to the time I got pregnant with Tyler. In that time I stood up to 3 doctors that wanted me to wean him or take him out of the family bed, changed doctors once, educated countless people (including said doctors, LOL!) on the benefits of following your instincts and nursing (even though I was quite often "flamed" for it), and that was my FIRST child! I just have to say, I really am as good as anyone else! I have done a great job with Philip and parenting in general. I think I let myself forget too easily about all the good things about my parenting because of my Great Depression and how guilty I have made myself feel about that. My only downfall, that I saw a pattern of in my postings, was that Ed has always let me know he needs more time with me and I just kept having more babies and putting my marriage on the back burner. (not that anyone was on the back burning when we were making those babes, hehe!) I am sure that is normal, but I am going to make a much more concerted effort to talk more with him and make sure he knows how much I appreciate him and Love him for the wonderful husband and father that he has turned out to be! I am sooo lucky! I am going to be copying and pasting a couple of those old posts here, just in case anyone wants to enjoy reminiscing with me. :) I'll put the first one in a new entry. Enjoy! I'm off to Lake Lure in the mountains of NC with my family and a wonderfully dear friend and her children! Love, me


Hannah said...

And that makes *me* feel nostalgic because I knew you during all that time!! :-) And you're right, you've always been that way and your children are blessed to have you as a mom.

Anonymous said...


I hear your happiness in your post here and you are right you are just as good if not better than anyone else! Its refreshing to read something so positive. I am sitting here reading your entries and thinking sh*t, she's got it together. :-)