Letting you into my personal life a bit (or maybe a lot) further....I have been doing a lot of "trance work" with my therapist. This involves going under hypnosis and tracing my feelings back to the first time I felt them, then reprocessing everything for my inner-child, in order to function more fully as an adult. Something everyone has asked or wondered: Does she tell you where to go? Or what to feel? Answer: No. She guides me into a more fully aware and less inhibited state of mind, or trance, through hypnosis. She always makes a point to remind me that I can come out of that state at any time I want to and that nothing can happen to me or be decided for me in that state without my conscious permission and agreement. Then she asks me to bring up the most recent time I felt whatever feeling it is I want to work on, i.e., rejection, unworthiness, anger, etc. We get in touch with the emotions on a physical level, and through that physical feeling I am able to, in trance state, transport my mind to the original time I felt it. I have learned, and believe, that everything that happens to us stays with us and creates a trigger on a cellular, organic level. The reprocessing of events and feelings truly is healing for me. It is really tough emotionally, and these are often two hour sessions, but so far it has been absolutely amazing! I am becoming much more compassionate toward others, much more patient with my own children and husband, and just have an overall sense of being a little bit more enlightened about the world in general, and my spiritual life in particular. This is right for me. And it is working. I find myself humming at odd times, and just plain happy. Not to say that I don't have my mean monster mommy moments at all anymore, but I'm creating new ways of handling myself and finding resources to bring to mind when I need them, in order to keep my anxiety and stress in check. The most amazing thing lately has been the decrease in my sensitivity to noise. I have always had a hard time hearing many noises at once, or any loud noises. I figured this was just a sensory processing issue, since Tyler (my 5 y/o) has had so many of those. I just assumed I must have some and he got them from me. Well, in the past 3 weeks, I find myself stopping in the middle of shushing the kids and realizing that the noise really ISN'T bothering me, I'm just in the habit of asking for quiet. I didn't trust it at first, so I've been just biting my lip and waiting to see how I react when the kids get noisy. And to my wonder and happiness, it is OK!
So, this weekend I am going to an Episcopalian Convent in Augusta Georgia to work some more on that inner child! What? Did Tracee say she is going to a Convent for a weekend??? Yup!! LOL! A friend and I were talking and we found we had lots in common on our spiritual journey's, so she recommended this seminar. It is called "Illuminating Darkness, Befriending Your Shadow." I will copy the description here. I am so excited! My wonderful MIL will be taking the kids for a day and a half and my husband is good with it all, and I was able to get a partial scholarship to pay for the seminar, plus a sponsor to cover the rest. Thank you everyone who has helped me! And I am going to stay with my Mom, since she lives in Augusta, which helped to cut the total cost of the weekend right in half! Woohoo!!! So here's the cut and paste, keep me in mind this weekend that I get everything I need out of this seminar and am able to integrate everything into my daily life to keep on keepin on! Thank you!
"Sept 7-9 – Illuminating Darkness, Befriending your Shadow led by Thomas Portney. Now taking reservations for this added weekend!
Of all the inner and outer forces that disrupt our lives and prevent spiritual peace, our shadow is the most powerful. Defined by Carl Jung as the repository of all our denied emotions, fears and gifts, the shadow becomes to us an imagined Pandora's box from which we spend our life fleeing. In the end we become defeated by the leaks that emerge from shadow, attacking self and others and sabotaging our best efforts. In reality, the "beasties" of our shadow are most usable energy that can contribute to strength, creativity, and unitive experience with God. Illuminating Darkness will challenge participants to come back into true balance with self. Further, opportunity to anchor new learnings within a renewed sense of freedom and lightness will occur.
Thomas Portney combines 34 years as a psychotherapist, spiritual director, and alternative healer into a form of experience designed to return each person with whom he works to their original self and their intimate relationship with God. His workshops combine a lively mix of first-hand learning and deep experiential exercises that yield great personal change. Music, movement and humor are vital elements in his workshop expressions and add spice to a paradox of diversity and unity. He is on a 58-year path of discovery himself."