Oops, I Did it Again

I truly don't know the name of the person that sings that song. I see the tabloids, I know a teeny tiny bit about what's going on in the entertainment world. I try to stay out of it as much as I can. Not that I have to try hard, what with the long list of everything else that needs my attention on an hourly basis. What I'm talking about doing, there is probably not a song about. Or maybe there is, but it's most likely not well known. I know I've never heard of it. And no, my dear friends who know me so well, I haven't offended yet another person by being too blunt and rude, LOL. Anyone ever heard of I-drank-too-much-coffee-and-now-I'm-up-all-night, oh i drank too much coffee and I'll never sleep again? Round 2, OK, just kidding, I won't keep going. See, I recently became the luckiest homeschooling woman alive. Now, this does have a price, mind you! It takes a lot of driving, and a little over a hundred bucks a month, (not including gas money) but I get exactly 4 hours completely to myself, total per week. Not bedtime either! What, do you think I actually stick to a bedtime routine and get time alone at night? Haha! Why would I post to my blog at almost 2 a.m. if I got time alone at a time before then??? No, this is time I get during the day. Haha, and you thought only families who sent their kids away to school got that. Hehe! It may take a good 9 years, 8 of which were spent having one or another or two children attached at the nipple, if not that, then the hip. And/or one in the womb at the same time. It may take countless nights of not sleeping because one kid is on your chest and another is trying to sleep on your head. And one is kicking from the inside. (and don't you think i didn't love most of every minute of those times!) You may even (or perhaps not, maybe I'm the only nutty one) have temporary thoughts (fantasies!) of leaving your family forever, while you run off to Puerto Rico or some other such far away land with dark bodies (that want absolutely nothing to do with your own body!) and a beautiful ocean. But then you stay, blindly believing that one day they will not be interested in your nipples anymore, and one day you won't wake up in a bed full of boys (or whatever brand of child you got blessed with) wearing pull ups that don't hold all their out-put. You blindly believe that one day, they will venture off your nipple and off your hip and out away from you, w/out even looking back. And you may also fully doubt that it will ever actually happen, but you must keep hoping that it will, else you would (or maybe you wouldn't, but I have thought about it!) have to put your children up for adoption or some other such (or worse!) drastic measure, in order to get a break to breathe!!! And THEN, you have to move 2 hours away from the closest babysitters and friends who exchange kids with you for appointments and grocery shopping. ACCCK!!!! It's OK, breathe. There's a good ending here. Thank God, huh? Phew! I drank a cup of coffee today. Because. I. Could. I don't make coffee at home. You don't want to know why, so I won't tell you. I only drink it when I'm "on a break." You know when you work outside the home, you get all kinds of breaks?! You get lunch breaks, smoke breaks and pee breaks. I remember! Sometimes you even take the I'm-just-gonna-sit-here-and-do-nothing-breaks. You get Oh-I-can-leave-a-couple-minutes-early-breaks. AND you get I-can-go-in-a-couple-minutes-late breaks. See, I don't get that. I work at home. And it's not just a funny thing I say because I am self-righteous and want to be treated with respect by the working women I know. I WORK at home. I am constantly making spur of the moment or well thought out in advance judgement calls that will affect the long term outcome of 3 small citizens of this world. I also wipe 2 of their butts at least once a day, guide them through the social things they must learn to get by in this world in a socially acceptable way, and I point out EVERY-SINGLE-THING I see that I want them to notice and be interested in. I guide and limit their screen time, play time, sugar-intake, etc. I ask for and expect their respect, and I believe I treat them respectfully. And I don't do it only in the mornings before work/school or in the evenings after work/school, or on the weekends. I don't do it on top of working a 15-20-40-60 hour work week (with breaks, mind you!) I don't do it single handedly, but I do this and only this 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. And can you believe I don't smoke??? And I have never called in sick. Good grief, I've tried, but it's never worked, not once!!! LOL! Take note here, I am SO not complaining. Just giving you a complete job description that I am finally willing to take credit for. See, people will often comment on the fact that I have three BOYS, as opposed to any other combination of children. And I say, I wouldn't change a thing, I have fun with them! And I do. People often say, WOW, you homeschool? All 3 of them?? That must be so hard!! And I explain that, to me it would be harder to put them in school. And it would be. I tried it for a year. I am enjoying having them home with me and they are enjoying having each other as companions, for the most part. Now, where did all this come from? Lemme explain Ricky! My husband took my children for the ENTIRE day on Sunday. And left me at home with a stick shift of a demo car, which really means, he left me stranded. From about 11:am to 9pm. I thought about biking somewhere, but I'm at least 2 miles from anywhere I'd even want to go and it was a hot day and I didn't feel well. That's just about 2 hours longer than a school day, right? And I slept for the first 2 hours since I was feeling pretty crappy. So, I had 8 hours of awake time. And you know what? I want to know exactly what stay at home moms who put their kids in school DO. OK, maybe not exactly, but a synopsis, OK? That's what I want to know. I have a friend whose home looks like a hotel. Her two girls are in school. Now I get it. I got my whole house cleaned too! And a knitted project completed, a crocheted project started and completed, a lot of t.v watched while knitting and crocheting, clothes washed dried and put away, etc. etc. I have NEVER had a day like that before. And I would not change a thing about the choices I've made, but really!! I am so jealous of the break you get from your kids, you families who have chosen to, or for some reason or other, have to go the out-of-the-home school route. I used to get mad at my Mother-in-law when she would tell me it was too much. I get it now! For heaven's sake, I am never going to feel bad again for thinking I need a break from my kids!!! Which I have been known for doing. I am the Mom who, for the first few months of Motherhood, believed that Stay-at-Home-Mom meant you stayed at home. I followed the curfew in college for the first couple of weeks too. I've apologized profusely to my husband for going out a few Thursday nights a month with my Mom's group in Columbia. I'm very black and white. It's one way or the other, no in between. I'm workin' on it, gimee a break. I parented in the attachment style because it was instinct. And I've been told, if you meet a child's needs when he cues you in to them, he'll be more confident and able to meet his own needs later. I'm actually witness to it happening with my 3 boys. And that is, I believe, how I came to be able to get 4 hours a week away from my 3 sons. They are in gymnastics twice a week, all 3 of them, for an hour and a half each time. They are in yoga once a week for an hour and 15 minutes. And during that time, I am enjoying the consequences of the lifestyle I have chosen. Sure, I have watched them climb and tumble and jump and flip. I have seen them stretch and stand in tree pose and bend over into shapes I could never do. I have watched them. And now I leave them. And nobody complains. Not their coaches, not their teachers, not them. And certainly not me. And yes, I know all kids get left at their different seasonal sports practice, ballet, dance, etc., etc. They get left at daycare, preschool, school of all kinds. If you've ever met my children, you know why this is a milestone for me. Heck, if you've ever ment ME, you know why this is a milestone!! If you didn't know them when they were littler, trust me. This is a major milestone. And so I go to Starbucks and I read or knit and have a cookie and water. Today, I mistakenly drank coffee. I actually drank it on purpose, knowing it was after 3 in the afternoon and much too late to be loading up on a Raspberry Mocha, much less a fully caffeinated one! And I'm now suffering the consequences of that choice. LOL. And if you're reading this, then you too are suffering the consequences of my caffeine induced-much-too-long and full of run on sentences blog post. I just had to tell you, I am so happy I get a break 3 days a week!! I'm so happy I don't feel guilty about it. I'm so happy my kids don't cling to me as I try to pry them off and leave. And I'm so stinking happy that I don't have to share the cookie, the coffee or the water I order. With anyone. I'm so happy, that if I saw you there, I'd offer to share it with you. That's how happy I am about that. OK, I'm done. :) G'night. Oh wait. I'm not done. I would like to request that if you read this blog, could you please leave a comment? It's so freaky to meet/see someone and have them start talking to me about something I've never mentioned out loud only to find out you read it here! Just say hi if you don't mind. Hi Tracee, I read this post. You can write whatever comment you want to write. I don't mind. Actually, I do mind. My husband called me a dork once in a comment and I've been screening comments ever since, hah! But, if I don't like it, I won't publish it. I just think reading a blog and not commenting is like calling someone and hanging up on their answering machine. Good grief, you called, why not leave a message? :) Thanks. G'night. (by the way,according to the spell check here on blogger, homeschool, puerto and caffeinated are mispelled, did you know that?)