Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Mom! Come Wipe My Butt!!!

That's how I got to be done with Yoga today! Hehe. For anyone who thinks Yoga is not real exercise, haha! Ha! is all I can say to you! Especially for someone significantly overweight. Which is a theme that has come up occasionally on this blog, and I am working on it on and off. I've decided diets are not for me. I just need to eat healthier in general. I'm thinking off and on of trying a raw food "diet," as in lifestyle changes in eating, to see how that works. My issue is, I never stick to anything once I start! I remember taking a Yoga class at a gym for a few months and completely and totally enjoying it. So much so, that once when one of my kids conked his head into a corner in the lobby of a Tae Kwon Do gym, I went ahead on to Yoga, assuring my husband that said child was just fine. I came out of Yoga and went to meet them at the E.R where that same child was having staples put into his head! I've really done an about face to appreciate being called out of my Yoga session to wipe a child's hiney! Haha! Baby steps, baby steps. I was able to comfortably (meaning i didn't fall down or pull a muscle!) complete 20 minutes of the video yesterday and 27 minutes today. I'm getting there!
Lately I find myself incredibly pissed off at so many things. I'm in the mood to write offensive things and not care who I piss off or upset. It's nothing personal, I'm just angry. I had a great, very healing, therapy session a week or so ago and I felt like I would be pretty good for at least a month. Now I'm walking around pissed at the world! I thought for a while about creating a personal and private blog for writing out angry stuff. Then I decided that would be kind of deceitful....I don't want people who read this blog to think this is all there is of me, when I'm hiding all the ugly. So, I'm going to go ahead and tell you what makes me so upset.

1. Intolerance. I can NOT stand it when people disrespect other's simply for not making the same choices they do. I am a very natural minded person, in general. Specifically, it gets hard to live that way on a daily basis, and it's easier to just eat chick-fil-a food or throw my water bottle in the garbage when we're out, instead of bringing it home to recycle it. Different strokes for different folks, is how I look at it. If YOU want to take your water bottle to the nearest recycling place you go right ahead. Your choice. But why do you insist on judging me for not doing the same? And for anyone that knows me, we're not really talking about water bottle recycling here. We're talking about birth choices, circumcision, breastfeeding and natural medicine. And I'll be the first to admit, I am MOST passionate about trying to influence others to see things "my way" or to "do the research," etc., etc. But in the end, really people, everyone has to make their own choices. I used to say that as lip service, and now I am really trying to live it. I know it's hard, but I wish the rest of the world would work on it too. Cause is it really the end of everything good if we make different choices? Is one more artificially fed baby going to change the universe as we know it? Sometimes I believe it might! Sometimes I want so badly for everyone to just KNOW that breastfeeding and gentle birthing are what is natural and best for all humans, that anything else is actually detrimental to the health of the world, and I wish we lived in a world that could enforce both of those things. But where would it end? (thanks for that eye-opener Lynn!) So, in the end, essentially and inevitable, we actually do all have to decide for our own family's what is best for us. And at the very same time, I am SO incredibly TIRED of hearing about how much better it is if we treat our health all naturally, etc., etc. Again, I used to say as simple lip service "there is a place for western medicine." I didn't believe it. Now I do. There are times and circumstances we need to aim to be all natural. Other times, you just need to know when it's time to call the doctor. So, intolerance. I'm tired of it. You live your way, I'll live mine and if we can learn a little from each other along the way, that'd be great. I homeschool, you public school, you go to the ends of the earth to make sure recycling is done, I'll do it when it suits me. But let's try not to start a war in the mean time OK?

2. Acting like an arrogant ass because you think you know more than anyone else about a subject. Why? Why do you do that? You may know a little more than some, a little less than others, but you don't know more than everyone. You may know some key information that the rest of us don't, but just because you are a doctor, a midwife, a specialist in your area of interest, this does not make you THE BOMB! And it certainly doesn't make you an expert in areas outside of your area of expertise!! So, please know when to shut up!! If you really do know more than anyone else, then shut up and be humble about it and use your knowledge to help those that need it, not to criticize those that don't.

3. People Who Try to Parent My kids When I'm Around. STOP. IT. NOW. It takes a village when I'm not around, but if I AM around, DO NOT ATTEMPT to discipline, correct, handle, or shame my children. That's MY job, and occasionally my husband's, and even less occasionally, their grandparents. I don't like sharing the job with anyone, least of all arrogant, intolerant, know it alls who think they know what's best for my child just because they've raised some already. Even worse: those that haven't done any raising and think they can be helpful. Shut Up. Do not tell my child how to behave, do not tell him to stop crying, do not tell him he's a good boy. My children will tell you themselves, they are not dogs. You say good boy to a dog, not to a child. All children are good. Anyone want to babysit? I could really use a break. Heheeh!

4. When People Joke about Serious Stuff. Child abuse, in any form, is not something to joke about, no matter where you are, no matter who you are, no matter what your history. You never know who in the room you might be seriously upsetting. And if you don't care, then that's another thing you need to work on!!!

5. Whining and complaining about your situation yet refusing to do anything to make it better.

So, I'm making mine better. With Yoga, better eating, a date night coming up (i hope!) and in general staying out of the way of intolerant, arrogant know it alls.

Thanks for reading the vent. And if you see yourself in any of the above, please don't wait for me to tell you to your face that you need to work on it. Just start working on it, OK? Cause I'm really tired of it. And I'm also tired of being cooped up in a house with a kid who is recovering from Mono and having all of our friends afraid to hang out with us because he *may* be contagious. Speaking of Philip, he is much better btw, thank you for your thoughts and prayers and comments. He is still tired, but much better.


Hannah said...

Re: #1. I am tempted to tease you, gently and sweetly, about being intolerant of intolerance, but that might make you madder, so ... I will just say that I agree with you, of course. AND, I have a great story for you along these lines. Short version: Guy in my raw-milk co-op, which I host, has TWICE now come to my house (yes, MY HOUSE) for his milk and reprimanded me for #1)having a full trash can on trash pickup day, and #2)using canola oil, (he saw the empty bottle in my recycling bin) which in his infinite knowledge is horribly toxic. Apparently I'm supposed to be using the much-more-expensive coconut oil AT ALL TIMES.

Janine said...

{{{Tracee}}} I hope you are feeling better now that you got that off your chest. :-)

Tracee said...

I get it Hannah, and it's ok to tease me about it. That's the hardest part, knowing that I am such a judgemental person. The first step to change is awareness...I'm working on it. :)

Beth said...

{{Tracee}} You know what? Good for you for saying excatly how you feel in your blog. I often censor myself and actually just chose not to post on a topic that i thought might be offensive to some. I also thought about making a private blog for just me. I'm still thinking about it...hugs to you and the boys...I'm really glad that Philip is feeling better. Now go schedule a date night!

Julia said...

Tracee, I can relate to some of this. I have changes of my own I need to make. I can dwell on the changes I haven't been able to stick with, but then I can remember some changes I have made. I bet you can too. I bet if you look back to five years ago there are areas in which you have improved.

I'm glad you didn't censor yourself. It's good to get these things off your chest and share. Even though I can't talk because I self censor a lot of what goes out online.

I saw your post on family playtime. I am sending positive vibes to Evan. I'm also sending them to your whole family. I can only imagine how rough it is to be confined to home for a good long period of time with a bunch of sick people.